Ask Merry Tip: In designing invitations, when a gift is expected the wording comes from a third person, never from yourself.

If you have been invited to a soiree and there is either a reply card and envelope or a line on the invitation asking you to reply, why wouldn’t you? The person doing the inviting thought enough of you or at least someone thought enough of you to add your name to the list, so why haven’t you replied? What’s up with that? Better yet, you don’t reply but show up anyway or you do reply and then don’t show. Huh?

Okay, let me put this into perspective. You receive an invitation in the mail, you have to check with your spouse or significant other if you are able to attend the event. So, maybe you put off responding for a few days. Or maybe you put the invitation in your purse or in a stack on the desk and forget about it. I say to that, Get Organized! Time to de-clutter. Soiree’s of any kind have a cost. Whether someone is entertaining at home or at a five star resort, everything comes down to space and dollars.

Or better yet, the reply card has an M and a line after it and you don’t know what to do with it. Well, here it is. The M line is a place for you to write Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Smith or Miss Karen Smith or Ms. Karen Smith or Mr. Joseph Smith. It is a place for someone to start writing a name. I know it seems kind of silly but believe me, if there is just a line without the M; people don’t know what to do with that either and then the bride and groom receive reply cards with no name. Yes, it’s true. Are you the guilty one?

If you do not reply at all then you are just plain rude, sorry for being so blunt. It takes less than a minute to answer a reply request no matter if you are supposed to stick the reply back in the prepaid envelope and mail it, or make a phone call, or now a days send an email reply. So time is not an excuse, so what is it?

For instance, a recent client was having an event at a five star resort where the per person food bill was $125 per person. They had 10 people not show up that had replied “yes,” bottom line the “no shows” cost the bride’s parents $1250. What do you think the bride and groom could have done with the $1250 if these 10 people replied “no” instead. Ok, so some things come up and you can’t make an event. What do you do then. You really, really couldn’t make it? Not only should you send a note of apology but your gift should reflect the money that you just cost them. You should just up the anty on your gift giving.

Have clear intentions and keep them. Your signature is a sign of the person you are. Don’t put pen to paper if you don’t mean it.

In this article my goal is to set the record straight about invitation wording.  I know that many of you find it hard to believe that invitations do not have any punctuation.  That’s right folks, NONE.  No periods, no commas between words unless in writing the date or city, state.  I have worked with many English teachers in creating their invitations and each time they argue the ethics of grammar.  Well…grammar has no place in an invitation.  So, how many of you right now are fighting this statement?  I know you’re out there and I have probably worked with you.  Invitations are not about the English language.  Invitations are directives.  What are you inviting people to, by whom, when is the event, how do they have to dress.  And then to top it off, invitations don’t really tell you how you are supposed to dress you’re supposed to know that.  Let me break this down a little further. 

Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Francis Smith

(the names of who is hosting the event)

request the honour of your presence

(request line or what are they asking you to attend)

at the marriage of their daughter

Jennifer Elizabeth

(bride’s name)

to

(joining word)

Mr. John Calvin Jones

(groom’s name)

Saturday, the ninth of August

(date line)

Two thousand and eleven

(year line)

at six o’clock

(time line)

Church of Christ

(location)

1234 Pleasant Lane

(address)

Pleasantville, New York

(city and state)

Invitations are pretty boring in that sense. In today’s invitations, other than for very formal events, you may see beautiful artwork, ribbons or layering.  These bits of personality can give some insight into the type of event that your friends and family are about to witness.  Invitations are the first thing that people see.  Invitaions give the recipient a glimpse into what to expect, who you are and how you express yourself.  So when you are either picking out your invitations or having them designed give your stationer as much insight into your event as possible.  Where it will be held, the time of day, the colors you will using, ideas you have torn out of magazines, any other information you have will be extremely helpful in creating your perfect invitation. Remember though, invitations are not a story so they do not need punctuation.  I hope I have put some clarity to your invitation writing.  In upcoming blogs I will delve deeper into the types of words to use and why.  For instance, why did I use the formal English spelling of the word “honour?”