Where did this tradition come from anyway? What were the ancient Romans thinking? Is it a self defeating prophecy or do people actually stick to their resolutions for the whole year? If there are any of you out there I want to hear from you!

After taking a good hard look at this past year and assessing my successes and failures it became brutally evident to me just how small I played the game of life.

It’s easy to sit back on our laurels when we think that no one is watching to pull a Scarlet O’Hara and put tasks off for just one more day which soon turns into one more week then one more month well you get the picture. Then bam, before you know it a new year is here and more missed opportunities just stroll on by.

So when I started thinking about what my resolution would be for 2011 I decided that it is to be present in all that I do. To stop contemplating about things I should be doing and just do them. Nike is so right on with saying “Just Do It.” To live a year of being excuse free, no story telling, I either did what I set out to or not and the let the results speak for themselves.

That’s a lot to bite off, I know but I’m tired of playing second fiddle in my own life. There is a quote by Jim Rohn that goes like this “stress comes from doing less than you are capable of.” Oh, I so want to be stress free. How about you?

Merry Lynch design Garden Delight

When I set out to create this company I started with the end in mind. That end was to have a lifestyle whereby I could run my business from anywhere in the world, make a difference in people’s lives by helping them to communicate in a personal way being comfortable and solid in their beliefs about themselves, to allow the women that work with me to be able to work  from their homes and have a lifestyle that suits their needs in creating wonderful products and services while making a reasonable profit.

I am fortunate to be aligned with Neiman Marcus where my personalized note cards are promiently displayed on their website and in catalogs. My products are also found in other fabulous retailers around the country such as The Village Inscriber in Palm Desert, California and Bering’s in Houston, Texas.

Recently my company was featured in Business News Daily, an on line newspaper for start-ups and small businesses, in an article about American made products and why companies are turning back to the US for their manufacturing needs.

I’m thrilled to be included in this arena of other fine entrepreneurs. What is it that you want to achieve in your life? What if money, other people’s opinions or the risk of failure were not an option, what is it that you would be doing? Let’s make the world a better place, one risk, one breakthrough, one aha moment at a time.

Find your passion through volunteer work

As budgets are cut and community and school programs are being forced to come to an end it is more important than ever to find a cause that speaks to your heart and support it in whatever way that you can.

The word philanthropy in Webster’s dictionary states that it is: An activity performed with the goal of promoting the well-being of fellow man. How delightful is that? What gift do you have to give, be it time, money or expertise?

I have heard some people say that they just do not have time to volunteer, or that they do not have enough money to share, or that they do not feel they have a skill that anyone needs. Well, I am here to tell you that none of that is true, that is simply the story you have told yourself.

The key to philanthropy is finding an organization that speaks to you, something that you believe in, something that makes you stop and take notice of. In the earlier days of my career as an expert in retail, I assisted small museums in designing and setting up retail stores so they would be able to reap an additional stream of income. Now as my skills and interests are changing I volunteer at women’s shelters.

Three years ago when my oldest daughter became pregnant she asked if I would be in the delivery room with her and her husband. I wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t be a blubbering fool so I decided to take classes to become a doula.

The Greek word doula means “woman caregiver.” Doulas provide emotional support, comfort and provide information to the birth parents. So as I was on my journey to become a doula I wondered if I would ever utilize these skills again. While speaking with a friend one afternoon she suggested that I contact a women’s shelter for pregnant women to see what needs they might have.

Now two years later, I provide childbirth education, breastfeeding information and attend the births to provide these women with support. I never knew that this journey that started by my own daughter becoming pregnant would turn into such an incredible humbling experience.

I invite you to dig deep down inside to find those special gifts that you have in order to make just one other person live a better more productive life. Oprah is a strong believer in philanthropy and volunteer work, here is a link to a quick test you can take if you are wondering what skills you have to offer
http://www.oprah.com/world/What-Kind-of-Volunteer-Are-You

Believe me, when you find a cause that speaks to your heart, you will somehow, find the time, the money, or the expertise to promote the well-being of your fellow man. I’d love to hear your stories.

Finally it’s over. I never realized how long forty days was. In the past I always felt as though time just flew by but I have to say that forty days of being aware or present at how I was being seemed to lengthen the days. Not sure that makes any sense but it felt like it was longer that forty days.

Anyway, both my husband and I survived. I made it through by being aware of my thoughts and the words that came out of my mouth while my husband literally survived a twenty foot drop off a mountain.

So things I learned:
.it’s easy to let myself down and get away with it
.it’s easy to be less than what I was put on this earth to do
.it’s easy to follow the pack and not strive for perfection

UGH! Generally speaking people around me would say that I am a positive, leader of self and others however during Lent I really got into the mindset of seeing that others around me were not necessarily sticking to their Lenten vows so I could cheat now and then as well. Just hearing these words come out of my mouth make me mad.

I as well as you were put on this earth to do and achieve great things, not to be second rate. In a leadership seminar I recently attended the speaker talked about each time you let yourself down or don’t hold yourself accountable you take a chip at yourself. When I think back to the profound affect those words had on me during this seminar I can not believe that I did not give Lent my all.

Where else in my life or yours does that show up? Where else have I or you said that something would get done and it did not because there was no one but ourselves to hold us accountable. Do you feel like me that it is easier to do something for someone else than it is to do something for yourself?

We are success breading machines; only if we would let ourselves be that. “If not now, WHEN?” That is what John Assaraf (of “The Secret”) asked me during a phone conversation. When, why not NOW!!!

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear.”
                                                                                                                              Mark Twain

How do you hold your self accountable?

On Palm Sunday I took the time to take an assessment of what I gave up for Lent. Although I certainly could have done a lot better than I did, it gave me the opportunity to look at my behaviors in certain situations and see how in the future I can change my reactions which in turn may change the outcomes.

Giving up swearing for 40 days has generated some great conversations with friends and family members. It seems as though after talking with others about the use of inappropriate words, many admitted to using them and found as I that they seem to roll off the tongue and sometimes even seem to be accepted by others. As an etiquette trainer that kind of makes me cringe however I also know that if I am a better leader of myself then I too can become a better leader of others.

So my quest for cleaning up my reactions and my language will continue long after Lent is over. Tell me about your Lenten lessons so that we can all learn and grow together.

“A diamond is a piece of coal that stuck to the job.”
Michael Larsen

Happy Easter

I tend to think that under normal circumstances time just seems to fly by however these forty days of Lent seem to lengthen the days somehow. Maybe it’s just because I am more aware of my behavior and the behavior of those around me. I have learned what sets me off and have also begun to notice what sets others off as well.

It’s just a notice for me in my attempt to become a better person, not wanting to offend those around me as well as being able to control my thoughts and emotions. I have noticed that when I am tired or frustrated the swear words seem to roll off my tongue or at least enter my mind and when I am in control, comfortable in my surroundings and relaxed I don’t seem to have the need to use a wrong word.

So my Lenten journey has been more of a journey about myself and who I am or better yet who I want to be more than anything else. Maybe that’s what sacrifice is all about. What is it that I can live without in order to be a better person? What do I need to change about myself to make others feel welcomed or for me to achieve all the things that I dream of? 

All my life I have given up something during the season of Lent however I never really held myself accountable to it.  This year in blogging somehow that seemed to make it more real and helped to make me pay attention to what I said I would do. Announcing it to the world helped me in being more accountable. Thomas Edison said that whenever he came up with an idea of a new invention, he would call a press conference and announce it to the world in order to help him follow through with what it was that he said he would accomplish. That is what this writing has done for me.

With only two weeks left before Easter I have to say that I look forward to the end of the season, to bring closure and at least a little bit of accomplishment to this pledge. It also makes me think about what it takes to change a habit. I have heard that it takes ninety days to change your sub-conscious. While at a conference where <a href=”http://onecoach.com/”>John Assaraf </a>was speaking he challenged the audience to give up something for ninety days to help change that thought pattern. The catch, if you will, was that if you fell of the wagon (so to speak) even once, then you had to start the ninety day period all over again.

Oh my gosh, if that were true during this Lenten season then I would be starting all over again TODAY!!! UGH!

My husband getting ready for his first helicopter ride

I have been told before that noticing is half the battle. Whew! I certainly hope that’s the case otherwise I have failed miserably. Last weekend my husband had a hiking accident where he fractured 2 vertebrae, broke 4 ribs, and collapsed his left lung and had to be rescued by helicopter. Ouch…no kidding.

Those quick 4 letter words come so easily to my mind and out of my mouth. I have gone through a wide range of emotion from feeling inadequate about being able to take care of him, to anger for him hiking in inclement weather, to being overwhelmed by the added changes to our lifestyles. I have felt selfish, tired, frustrated and so much more. I have cried, laughed and wanted to hit something. I have wanted time off from Lent…

I know there is a lesson here; sometimes I just don’t want to learn it. UGH! Why is it that my favorite swear words a great, expressive, easy to say 4 letter words. I have been really working on finding words to replace them but nothing seems to sound just right. So now I’m down to attempting to forget about them all together. Not so easy.

So my journey continues, attempting to think good thoughts with compassion and patience. When I take the time to breath everything seems better, it’s in the height of the moment when my mind switches…another good notice. Now it’s not like I use swear words all the time, it just really is inappropriate to use them at all. Etiquette and leadership again take precedence; anger and frustration never get the job done. What’s that saying “you can catch more bees with honey than you can vinegar” so spreading honey and being grateful is what I am trying to do. How about you?

Up, up and away!!!

Why is it that after stating my decision to give up swearing for these forty days of Lent that everyone on the road is cutting in front of me, just to challenge me I’m sure, as well as the grocery line has been the absolute longest it has ever been when I’m in a hurry. Where are all these people coming from? And what about my UPS package that was supposed to be here today? What happened to that, huh?

An interesting observation about myself is that before something has happened I’m already onto the next thing in my mind. Is sacrificing something during these days of Lent to bring me back to the present time and space? Is it a disruption in my daily routine so that I begin to notice things around me? Or are these forty days of Lent about giving me those AHA! moments so that I can be grateful more often?

I’ve also learned that Lent is actually 46 days, but no one really talks about that. Have you pulled out a calendar lately and counted the days, well I have. And sure enough, it’s 46 days from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday. The Catholic Church says that the seventh day or Sunday is a day of rest. What does that mean exactly? Does that mean I get to swear every Sunday? Or am I supposed to take those additional days and learn from them? I’m sure there is a lesson in here somewhere.

The other thing I have asked myself is that in stopping to swear, does that also mean I can’t even think the swear words or write them down? Is that the same thing? So far in the last three days I have slipped several times verbally but the hardest part has been to control my thoughts. This journey has made me notice that these words come with a lot of judgment about others. You certainly are never saying anything nice about someone or something when you are swearing. So I have begun to notice the negativity that surrounds these words and my mind; which is a pretty funny thing for me because I consider myself a positive person. Imagine what I am missing out on.

AHA moment, as I clean up my mouth I am also cleaning and clearing up my mind. Who would have guessed? How is your journey coming?

Yesterday I realized it was the beginning of Lent for us Catholics. I took a break to put some thought into what I was willing to give up or sacrifice for the next forty days. HMMMM!!! I really like all of my vices so it was a tough decision.

After deliberating over martinis, chocolate, nail biting or swearing; I finally decided upon giving up swearing. Not sure I made the right decision but I’m going to stick with it. Now comes the forty days of Lent…which made me wonder where my quick tongue come from? This immediately put a smile on my face….

Growing up in a small town in Maine where my father was the town doctor and my mother a stay at home wife, one would never guess that my mothers favorite saying was “God damn it” but in a kind and gentle way if you can imagine that. My mom was a great lady with a unique sense of humor always with a cigarette in hand.

At the young age of 73 she suffered a heart attack, yes from all the smoking, but the reason I smiled when thinking of giving up swearing for forty days was the view of my mother in her hospital bed moments before she died.

In the hospital with no hope of survival my sisters, brother, spouses and grandchildren were surrounding my mother’s bed. The nurse (a male) came in to tell us that our mother was not going to recover. Now she was awake during all this but on morphine so not really sure what she gleaned, anyway…the nurse told us that as her heart slowed down and eventually stop that her feet would die first. I of course had never experienced anything like this before so my heart skipped a beat as we all listened intently. He went on to mention that after her feet lost their pulse her legs would be next and eventually her heart would stop. As death came upon her legs they would begin to cramp as the circulation stopped, he went on to say that our mother would want us to rub her legs but that she would not be able to feel our hands, for some reason it made me rub harder just in case he was wrong.

The only thing he could do to comfort her at that point would be to administer more morphine until finally she would simply close her eyes. So as her legs began to cramp and our rubbing was of no comfort we called out to the nurse to help alleviate the pain. I remember watching him walk in the room and reach down to her ankle to take a pulse. He looked at all of us and said “the end is near, her feet are dead.”

We all swallowed deep and kept reminiscing over funny family stories; the nurse in the meantime walked around to the head of the bed and said “Marie, how are you feeling?” Her response was “Joe, how would you feel if I reached down and grabbed your balls and twisted the hell out of them? That’s how I feel, now fix it!” The nurse had no idea what to say at this point but nod and administer the drugs; we on the other hand erupted into laughter as we watched our mother gently close her eyes for the last time turning our laughter into tears.

So as I decide to try my hand at giving up swearing for forty days, I must do so by first thinking of my mother and asking for her to watch over me for this time putting new words in my mouth and new thoughts in my head.

I miss you Mom, forty days here I come….what are you willing to sacrifice to become a better person?

So, if you’re like me wondering if all this blogging, tweeting and other social media stuff is all worth it let me just share my experience. I jumped into the social media thing earlier this year doing twitter, facebook, linkedin, blogging. I quickly became overwhelmed, well not so much me but my husband. I became engrossed in all of these social media forms however it got to the point that each time I even got the least bit close to my computer I could hear it calling me, wondering what was going on in the world, who was doing what, and who could I reach out to? The sucking noise of the computer seemed to pull me closer and closer each night until “the straw that broke the camels back” so to speak, my husband just came over and unplugged the computer. Whew! I was FREE. It was at that point that I decided to take a break from everything to do some soul searching, to see what was important to me and the growth of my business, to make sure that I was passionate about what I was doing and not just making noise, to find out if I was really adding value to the world.

What I found out, for me, is that I do have a lot to share and that the information and products that I provide do offer or enhance people’s way of life and actually can help others to feel more comfortable and less stressed. That’s a good thing. I also realized that as much as I was told in elementary school that I was a terrible writer, I do enjoy it. I may not always use the right punctuation or the correct verbage but these are my thoughts so it is best to come out in my words.

So yes, I am extremely passionate about what I do. I enjoy all aspects of what I do from speaking about etiquette or presenting vision board workshops, to creating products that make the shopping experience more enjoyable, to assisting others in defining the business of their dreams. Now it’s just a matter of sharing what I know and having a blast doing it, on my time so that all this social media stuff remains fun instead of a chore. Now I’m back up and running with blogging, tweeting, facebook and linkedin with a new look to launch shortly that feels more like me and who I am. I so look forward to sharing with you again.

I’d love to hear your struggles or successes with fitting social media into your lifestyle and integrating it into your business….write soon!