What would that “anything” be in your life? Imagine a wind so strong that you are stripped of your past, and all that was left standing was you today, right now, in this present moment.

Imagine the next move you make, the next thought you think will determine your fate. What would those movements or thoughts be or would you stand frozen, stuck as though your feet were planted in cement, wrought with fear or confusion?

As the New Year is upon us take a few minutes to contemplate this image, New Year, new beginning, clean slate. Have you set yourself up for success in 2012, or will you just go through the motions.

Many of us really stink at self-discipline hence the reason we never seem to quite make our goals or achieve our dreams. Sure if we want a new car, we get one; if we want a new smart phone, we get one; but where we miss the mark is realizing that the same goal setting and clear intention that got us the new car or smart phone are the same goal setting techniques that can get us anything else we desire with emotion. Determining your goals whether they be personal, financial or business related will set you on a course for success. Charting your course, being self-disciplined to create a plan, visualizing your goals daily, moving forward step by step celebrating the small wins along the way will help you to stay on course.

Here are some tips to help you stay on track:
- Celebrate small wins
- Enlist those around you to help you stay on track
- Create deadlines on a calendar that you see daily
- Place small messages and pictures of your goals on a vision board and place it where you will be able to view it several times a day
- Spend 10 minutes daily (that’s the hard part) quietly visualizing that you have already achieved your goal so much so that you are able to feel the exhilaration of achievement
- Write down 3 things you are grateful for each morning before your feet hit the floor.

Once you get into the habit of abundance and prosperity all that you seek with clear intention will be placed in front of you, it is up to you to reach out and grab it with gusto!

Collin Street Bakery

Did you know that Fruitcakes even have a day of the year named after them? Really now, its December 27th so you better stock up and get ready. Fruitcakes are said to have originated with the Roman’s and then quickly spread with each country in Europe adding it’s own take on this conundrum of spices, fruit and nuts. Relatives, friends or acquaintances can also be deemed “fruitcakes” which actually stems from the copious amounts of rum that the cakes are usually laced with hence enhancing the actions of others turning them into none other than a Fruitcake.

My husband for one loves them. Being from Europe it was a holiday tradition that his family enjoyed in good times and bad. The fruitcake made everything ok again.

I on the other hand have just always wondered what the fascination is with such a dense offering. Being from New England I really only like my fruit all by itself or in a pie not generally liking the dried fruit thing in a cake-like soggy, spongy dessert.

So as I set out to find the perfect fruitcake for my husband this year, I wonder what really happens to them all. Is it ok to tell the person bringing you this luscious delight the truth or should you just shut up and re-gift it. Etiquette would say to just accept it and move on or I guess you could say something like “oh how I wish I could eat this it looks so wonderful but being allergic to nuts I just am not able to, maybe you could use it instead.”

Happy Holidays to all you Fruitcakes!!

What I realized is that in each of these scenarios I am coming from a place of negativity, of not-enoughness (if that is even a word), of lack or scarcity. If on the other hand I could just relax, stop the struggle and begin to allow, then all that I have dreamt about with emotion will in fact be mine. I know this to be true.

Recently I read an article written by Shawn Achor of Harvard University who has been researching “happiness” of all things and the effect it has on people. In his work on The Happiness Advantage, Shawn speaks about changing the thought pattern over a 21 day period by focusing on positive thoughts. Would you be willing to spend 21 days to be happier or is the first thing that comes to mind when I say 21 days is the struggle or how that could never happen? Two minutes everyday for 21 days, sounds like a great deal to me. I’m in, how about you?

It has been proven that people who are generally happy, that laugh a lot, that come from a mindset of the glass being half full instead of half empty actually live longer, healthier lives. Imagine, just by being happy! How difficult could that be?

So if this is true, why do we or as I can only speak for myself push against or have to make things a struggle when if I only stopped resisting, stopped pushing, stopped complaining, perseverance would not be about the struggle, it would be about the positive happy results of focused energy and thoughts.

As I dissect this word for a deeper understanding and attempt to change my perception from the struggle to that of allowing I can breath and rest assured that the universe will place me on a direct course ultimately achieving all that I desire with emotion, unfolding right before my eyes just as it should be.

To “persevere” is to step into your greatness one moment at a time, without hesitation or regret knowing full well that your goal is within your grasp, you…have only to PERSEVERE or in the words of the great Bobby McFerrin, Don’t Worry Be Happy!

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                                                                                                                                                                         Marianne Williamson

As much as I like to think of myself as free of fear, whenever I begin a new project or take on a new goal I sometimes become anxious, judgmental of myself, even angry or uptight.

With a new vision board on my wall and some wonderful new adventures ahead of me I begin to contemplate this word “fear” and what it means to me. In front of me is the magazine Yoga Journal and I begin to read an article by Kate Holcomb titled “Stepping Up.”

At first glance I perceived this article to be about taking yourself onto greater heights of achievement however as I read on the article takes me on a journey describing a smooth transition of growth with ease and grace.

 Many times in my life as I have challenged myself it has not always been pretty let alone successful or even yet graceful. I have pushed instead of allowed. I have moved on when maybe I should have just paused.

 In this article, Kate Holcomb, talks about the process of growth like the peeling of an onion which she so eloquently refers to as the “stages of understanding” which she then layers with positive imagery and thoughts.

 She writes about learning a new skill or taking on a new goal and I imagine the layers of an onion, sometimes coming off smoothly in one piece and yet others making me tear up. Armed with this new road map of understanding I look forward to taking on that new goal, learning to savor the moment and take the time to enjoy the journey, peeling the layers ever so slowly, allowing myself to at times feel awkward or clumsy maybe even taking a wrong turn until the moment I begin to understand and feel more comfortable, getting into a rhythm, eventually beginning to play at the task at hand, finally overtime stepping in to my greatness with ease, clarity and grace.

The stages of growth that Kate describes in this article seem so elementary yet at times, for me anyway, have been difficult or challenging at best. Now, having a guide or roadmap to follow Kate’s “stages of understanding” I am filled with anticipation instead of fear knowing that if I take the time to practice, breath, reflect, review, revise and notice; all of my dreams, goals and aspirations are all at my fingertips. I can take my tears of frustration and turn them into tears of joy knowing that I am fear less.

I pass the time by doing some work and sip on a decaf cappuccino so not to add any more anxiety to my day however I still feel like I want to jump out of my skin.

I take a moment to stretch, to breathe, to relax and as I lean back in my seat and stretch my arms up I happen to drop my head back and there directly over my head is a Mickey Mouse balloon smiling down at me. Now that puts things into perspective! I think to myself “thanks Mickey, I needed that bit of reality.”

This silly balloon high above my head helped to put a smile on my face and bring me back to the realization that I am not only a leader of my self but that I too am a good CHARACTER. Maybe not in the same way that Mickey Mouse is a CHARACTER but I certainly have that going for me as well. I realize that I have choices on how to react, behave, and appear throughout this day and the business meetings that I have ahead of me.

Mickey in all his innocence hanging high above my head seemed to give me permission or certainly provided me with the perspective that I needed at that moment. Seems crazy that a silly balloon could do that however it was just the thing I needed to distract me, to take my thoughts of myself and be more outward thinking.

So as I board the plane to Phoenix I know that no matter what the outcome of today’s business meeting is I will stand tall and firm knowing that I am of good CHARACTER.

The hour flight to Phoenix seemed to fly by (no pun intended) and before I knew it I was seeking assistance for my ground transportation needs. At Sky Harbor Airport I encountered people that somehow all seemed to be cheering for me. That all seemed to go out of their way to get me to where I needed to go.

First it was the man at the Phoenix airport information booth, next it was the shuttle bus driver and finally it was Thor Furuseth of Dollar Rent a Car who not only found a car for me when none were available but mentioned that he felt something great was about to happen to me. He continued to say that there was something about me that urged him to take the extra step to assist me.

So what was I projecting? Why were total strangers so willing to help me and then to add such words of encouragement to their send off? Was it just that I was listening more or was I emanating a different type of energy?

Sometimes I wish that I could view myself almost as though I were in a movie so that I may get a glimpse of what others are seeing but maybe what I really need to do is just keep being myself, being of good CHARACTER just as the Lord, the universe, Ala or whomever or whatever you believe in has planned.

So the next time you are in a situation when things are not quite going your way. Maybe that is a perfect time to sit back, relax, and look up to see a different view.

My first reaction to the word leader is always thought of with an outward view, a view of leading others, guiding and directing others to greater heights. However the first real role in leadership is that of guiding and directing ourselves.

But I find it so much easier and more gratifying to tell someone else what to do than to actually do it myself. Maybe that is where the saying comes from of, “do as I say, not as I do.”

As I write these words and think these thoughts it dawned on me how the previous words I have written about in Self for the Leader all work together. Accountability, integrity, generous and so on, these traits of leadership helps to form our lives, our relationships, and our world.

When I reflect on my life and my achievements as well as my failures, I can connect the outcomes of my actions to my personal leadership skills or in some cases the lack there of. Although, I must say I certainly have learned a lot about myself during my stay here on Earth.

So as you struggle in your daily life to feel like a leader or act like one, take out a piece of paper, sit in a quite room, take in a few deep breaths and take a trip down memory lane. Write down ten accomplishments you have made throughout your life. Now they may not be pretty to some of you. For instance, the moms that I work with at the shelters, their accomplishment may be leaving an abusive relationship and going to a shelter, yet for others it may be graduating Magna Cum Laude, and still others it may be the birth of a child. No matter how big or small, how insignificant you may originally think. Put all that judgment aside and write down those ten accomplishments that made you feel proud, excited, on top of the world.

All set? Now look at your list and pick the one accomplishment that gives you the most joy. The one accomplishment you are most proud of. Its ok, you don’t have to share this list with anyone. No one will judge you; this is your life and no one else’s.

Now, close your eyes and focus on that accomplishment. How did you get there? What obstacles did you have to overcome? What planning, dreaming or goal setting went into this achievement? And then most importantly, who were you being?

I believe that for most people the one word that will resonate loud and clear will be that of Leadership of you.

When researching the original meaning of leader it points to the words warrior, provincial ruler, guide. The other thing I found interesting was the flip side of this word which is “sin.” This three letter word I have associated in the past with religion however the real meaning of the word “sin” is to miss the mark. OUCH! How many times have I done that? How many times was I hiding out from being the leader in my life and missed the mark because of it. UGH! It’s all just a notice. One of those AHA moments in life when I get to slap myself in the side of head, get back on track and be the leader of my fabulous journey.

I hope you enjoy yours!

Is there something you want to do so strongly that it keeps you up at night? Do you wake each morning with enthusiasm about what the day ahead of you will bring? Do you have a goal, written clearly that sends chills down your spine every time you see or read it?

All of the great motivational leaders of our time, Napoleon Hill, Charles “Tremendous” Jones, Brian Tracy, Les Brown, John Maxwell, and many others, speak about doing what you love to do and the universe will give you just what you asked for.

I know this for a fact to be true. As a little girl I dreamt about owning my own store. So much so, that when my mother would leave the house to go shopping I would re-arrange the furniture and when she arrived back home I try to sell it to her all over again.

In my mid-thirties I drafted a business plan and tucked it safely away in a drawer somehow feeling as though I wasn’t ready. Then one day, several years later, I pulled it out, dusted it off and went on a journey. Six months later I opened my first retail store, Papier Gourmet.

Just recently I discovered the importance of clarity when putting together a vision board and writing down my goals. One of my goals is to have several homes around the world, one of those places being Coronado. This beautiful small island off the coast of San Diego, California is a place I visit often. I find myself walking around its neighborhoods, taking pictures, sipping cappuccino in the small cafes, and dipping my toes in the Pacific Ocean.

I put up pictures on my vision board of a home with trailing bougainvilleas and beside it the word Coronado.

The next thing I know, I am offered a position in California. My heart raises, my mind swirls, is this it I ask myself? Will this dream come true? I accept the position and begin a search for a home. Nothing seems exactly right until one day I come across a place that seems comfortable, that seems like home.

The day comes to sign the papers. I anxiously sit in the office wondering if I have made the right choice. I am two hours away from the island I had dreamt about. I begin to doubt myself. Have I looked at enough places, maybe this isn’t it. Maybe this is the wrong position, the wrong place. But it’s too late to back out now. The deposit has been paid.

The agent walks into the room and gently slides the papers across the table. My heart races, I glance at the paper and much to my surprise the letterhead says “Welcome to Coronado.”

Many times during a given day my mind can wonder to the other side of the tracks in placing blame instead of being blameless. This word INTEGRITY speaks to purity and innocence yet the negative self talk can get in my way. INTEGRITY speaks to our being; to how honest, forthright, and abundant we are thinking and acting. When I envision myself living with INTEGRITY I envision a person standing tall, emanating a glow, looking at others eye to eye, living a relaxed, abundant and fulfilled life. What does INTEGRITY look like or feel like to you?

I was amazed by watching this video on INTEGRITY that no matter what language you speak or whether you win or lose the game, in the end what matters most is who you get to go home with and what that person looking back at you in mirror has to say. What would I do if placed in this same situation? Would I throw caution to the wind and win the game or would I be of INTEGRITY?

Studies by Cornell University researchers have shown that those who are thankful appear to have lower risks of developing phobias, alcoholism, even depression. The findings report people that are grateful even have stronger immune systems.

When I first started my gratitude journal I thought that I might run out of things to be grateful for each morning. After my first week of writing that I was grateful for my husband, my daughters, my family, and my home I realized that it’s the small things in life as well. The blue sky, the birds singing, my morning cappuccino, my hands that help to drive my car, my brain for helping to guide me through the day, and so on. Once I began to look at my life the things that I am grateful for now seem endless, which I am also grateful for.

Take a moment to be grateful today, no matter how big or small. Say it out loud or just in your mind, write it in a journal or tell someone else. Whatever way it feels right to you…go out and be grateful.

In coaching others at times I just want to give them a box of crayons and a blank piece of paper so they can have an opportunity to remember what it is like to play, to laugh, to release and let go. Somewhere along the line some of us have forgotten how to be creative and how to color outside the lines. We tend to stick to our daily routine and then believe that’s all there is.

Negative thoughts are in many cases the reason for our lack of creativity. If we live our lives mainly out of the past or worrying about the future instead of being in the present moment we get stuck in what other people think about us, the fear of the unknown, or fear of rejection.

In a recent article by Kirk Wilkinson for heal.com, he mentions that there are some upsides to negative thinking. Kirk mentions that negative thinking gives us the best excuse for not trying or for not working hard at something. Positive outcomes are usually the result of effort and hopeful thinking; if we don’t want to put forth the effort, saying things like, “Why should I try? I am just going to fail anyway,” become a great excuse.

Personally, I prefer to believe my glass is half fun, instead of half empty. I try everyday to color outside the lines. How about you?

The word “creative” is rooted in the word “create” which means, to make or bring forth. What skill, dream, or goal do you have that you need to bring forth?

“The freedom to make mistakes provides the best environment for creativity.”