Dr. Wayne Dyer in his program EXCUSES BEGONE delivers a step by step process to get our lives back and rid ourselves of the burden that keeps us from our goals and dreams.

I have become such a good excuse maker over the years that I’m not sure what I would do with all the time I would end up with if I was not using all that mind space or energy and emotion. Do you think excuses really do make us less productive or more?

Living without excuses would mean no more finger pointing. Excuses keep us from what it is that we say we want it also impacts our daily productivity both at home and on the job. Our time is a precious commodity that we can only retain by living EXCUSE-FREE. What is your time costing you? For me, I certainly can say that I am not productive or on task 100% of the time. I let excuses get in the way, whether I am making an excuse up, delivering an excuse or listening to one, it comes down to time management. How much time have I been willing to give up?

What exactly is an excuse and why do we use them? From the time we were kids we have used them but where did they come and who taught them to us and is anyone really free of them? Do we really believe that others care why we are late, why we didn’t complete a task, why we pretended to be sick when we were not, that the dog ate the homework, where does all this come from?

What is it about justifying our actions or lack of do we think will make things better? In a program I attended through PSI we learned about how integrity plays a key role in living EXCUSE-FREE. Being in alignment with yourself and clear about your intentions will not only help you in being accountable but will also assist in getting rid of excuses.

The PSI workshop on integrity was about letting go of the story, or the excuse behind the story of why you missed the mark or didn’t complete the task. You simply were not allowed to tell the story. Gone, rifinito, finished. You were out of integrity with yourself and the other people involved and that was that.

I have to say, I struggled with not being able to tell my story. I wanted others to know what I had gone through and why I was late, or why I simply could not finish what I said I was going to. I was mad that instead of telling my long saga that took time and energy to come up with, that all I could do was to admit the wrong doing (ie: I am late) and then ask to get back into integrity with the person or persons involved. Sounds easy huh? I felt sick to my stomach.

So do away with the story, no more of my dog ate my homework, I’m not good enough, strong enough, pretty enough, thin enough, I’m too fat, too dumb, my battery died, I don’t want to hurt his/her feelings; I could go on forever. Time saving, energy saving and life saving. Fess up and move on by living EXCUSE-FREE.

The thing I hate about these two words is in the attempting to live BELIEF FREE. How do you stop the negative self-talk all of the time? How can you walk into a room full of strangers and not be so anxious that you want to throw up? There are all kinds of instances or situations in our lives when we believe we know the outcome of what is to come, my question is why bother? Wouldn’t it be much nicer to go into each and every phone call, date, dinner, business meeting, and etcetera and not have played the conversation or the experience over and over again in our minds before even getting to the event?

The question “what would you be doing if other people’s judgment, fear or financial outcome was not an option” comes into play here in being all that we can be or in achieving our goals, dreams and desires. So what would you be doing, who would you be hanging out with and where would you be living? BELIEF FREE, my love-hate relationship.

I get that living this way has huge advantages, always coming from a place of wonder wanting to uncover a new experience every moment of every day. What would you do different? In the movie “Legally Blonde” Reese Witherspoon plays the part of a young blonde woman without boundaries or a care in the world and always comes out on top. Is that real life? Is that what I can expect by living “Legally Blonde?”

This week’s message is about COMMITMENT and yet this posting is four days late! How ironic.
As I look to lead myself toward my own personal and business goals I allow the needs of others to come before my goals, dreams and aspirations. Now, I am not saying that you should never lend a hand to anyone, take time to snuggle with a loved one, or just plain relax. I am talking about doing what it is you said you were going to do whether someone is looking or not. What kind of things do you do when no one is looking? Not really sure I want the answers but if you think about 24 hours in a day, how are we spending them? We all have the same amount of time, what is it that makes others so productive and how can I be productive as well?

If we all have the same 24 hours what are we doing? There are 24 hours in a day, 168 hours in a week. If we essentially work 40 of those hours, and sleep for 40 of those hours, we have 88 hours left each week to work on our goals, hobbies, spend time with friends or family. So how does the time just seem to disappear? We have more hours left in a week to achieve our goals than we do time spent on the job or sleeping, this is a good wake up call for me!

Those who are COMMITED have helped to shape our world, good, bad or ugly. From Napoleon to Hitler, Churchill to Obama, Mother Theresa to Oprah each of us has an opportunity to be COMMITTED to our goals and make the world a better place in which to live.

So what is it that helps to make people COMMITED? Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Lew Hewitt in their fabulous book titled “The Power of Focus” talk about the power of no and asking yourself if what you are doing right now is helping you to achieve your goal?

In this book “The Power of Focus” it goes on to speak about the “plan,” do you have yours clearly stated and SMART? I have heard this term in defining goals from many of the great leaders in organizations, the term SMART means:
SPECIFIC: get crystal clear with your goal, what is your plan
MEASURABLE: goals that are not measured are rarely achieved
ATTAINABLE: be realistic, crunch the numbers, break it down, and believe it
RISKY: Eleanor Roosevelt said “does something that scares you each day”
TIMELY: if you shoot at nothing that’s just what you are going to get, give yourself a deadline

My ahh moment came when this posting went up 4 days late. What has these 4 days cost me? I can never get those 96 hours back. What would or does losing 96 hours cost your business or your way of life?
So if you are lacking COMMITMENT to what it is that you say you want take the first step be SMART about it and get COMMITTED, you alone can change the world, everyone is just waiting for you to step up.

Many people that I interact with on a daily basis are surprised when they find out that I have an alter ego.

As a sales manager I lead others to envision a goal and create a clear path to the achievement of that goal. So why would people be so surprised to find that my alter ego is that of a birth doula?

Being a birth doula is really not much different from being a manager or leader of others. There is one goal and one goal only and that is getting another person to do what you want them to do for their reasons.

Leadership in the Board Room or the Labor Room is about deciding, defining, and delivering (no pun intended) the goal. As in setting a goal the key is to begin by answering the question “why”. “Why” is it important to have a healthy pregnancy and birth? “Why” is it important to build a relationship of trust with a client? “Why” should I go the extra mile? Keep asking yourself “why” until the answer appears, no different than the peeling of an onion and hopefully without the tears.

My road to becoming a doula happened quite by accident. My daughter became pregnant and asked me to be present at the birth with her husband. I, of course, was over joyed and then over whelmed. I became over whelmed because I delivered her at home thirty years prior and had no idea what a hospital birth looked like so I decided to prepare myself.

I found a childbirth class that by coincidence, if you believe in them, was a birth doula training class. The facilitator asked me “why” I was taking the class and once I told her about my daughter she said “how perfect, you’ll only need two more births for your certification (vaginal births that is).”

So my journey began but next I wondered where I would find these other pregnant women that would allow me to attend such a personal and precious moment in their lives. A friend suggested that I contact the local woman’s shelter. Five years later I am still involved and assisting these women to make healthier choices whether they are happy about their pregnancy or angry due to a rape or domestic violence issue. It is through mentoring, coaching and leading these women into birthing a new life for themselves armed with new information and a new outlook that keeps me coming back for more. So for me, my doula experience has gone far beyond the Labor Room.

As doula’s, birth coaches, mentors or any other role that we choose where we have the ability to influence the lives or the decisions another person may make we hold a unique opportunity to effectively lead in a positive manner. Just as in leading my team in business, I lead these women, their spouses, significant others or family members through this stage of their growth and touch on each area (mental, physical, social, spiritual) of their lives to be able to discuss their vision, their goals and dreams of their future as parents or in some cases as surrogates.

Being that I believe that every birth is perfect whether it is the birth of a child or the birth of a business or relationship it is in the defining of the outcome that will bring about the best results.

Bob Goshen, author of The Power of Layered Leadership suggests that there are seven ways in which to enhance your life and the lives of those around you. Here are the seven ways he suggests:
1. Read. The best way to enhance your life is to read about those who have gone before you, are doing something you find interesting, or have experienced something that you wish to emulate.
2. Subscribe. Whether through following blogs, newspapers or paper.li, subscribe to information based resources that can help to provide growth and learning.
3. Listen. Taking a class or giving a class, mentoring a student or being mentored listen and be present with those around you.
4. Network. Chose to be around others that are better than you. Join a club or association that can add value to your business, life, or birth experience.
5. Mentor. It is said that service is the rent that we pay for our space here on Earth. Take the time to enrich another person’s life, the reward are endless.
6. Teach. It is in the giving that we receive. Find one thing that you do better than anyone else and share it whether baking cookies, birthing babies, or leading others.
7. Journal. Only 7% of people ever write down their goals and even fewer even have a dream. Take five minutes each day to put away the fear, the opinion of others, and the restraints of finances, and dream on paper.

Delivering ethical, effective and positive leadership will bring about better outcomes either in the Board Room or the Labor Room creating a better world in which to live.

Can you really do this, catch someone doing something right, when you come from a place of the glass is half empty instead of the glass being half full? Can a corporate culture change when nothing ever seems to be good enough or that each time your goals or metrics are met the needle is moved again to produce higher and higher or more and more? Can businesses have it all and still have employee retention? Can we just catch someone doing something right and then let them gloat in this compliment without saying now what?

Maybe we are so engrossed in our own tasks that we don’t even raise our heads long enough to notice others or maybe we just are so tapped out that we don’t feel like it. Are we so hurried that we don’t have the time?

We probably all know at least one other person that eyres on the side of negativity and notice how unpleasant it is to be around that person or that you may notice that their negativity has a detrimental effect on the rest of the department, team or household. Personally I prefer just to stay away from negative people but maybe they need some encouraging too!

Harvard University has completed a study that states smiles are contagious. Go figure! Then there is still another study that discovered it actually takes forty-three muscles to frown and only seventeen muscles to smile, so think of smiling as conserving energy and passing it on to others.

John G. Miller, author of QBQ and Flipping the Switch talks about how our negative thoughts, blame and overall lack of responsibility often can increase stress and certainly keeps us in a victim mentality and leaves us generally pretty lousy to be around. Zig Ziglar says that if you are pointing your finger at someone you have three fingers pointing right back at you. Try it! Raise your arm, it doesn’t matter which one, point your index finger and notice where the rest of your fingers (other than your thumb) are pointing. Right back atcha baby!!!!

For today my challenge to you is to catch someone doing something right and then tell them, better yet tell them in front of others and make it infectious.
My daughter told me of a great team building exercise she has done with her team. Have each person on your team write one nice or positive word about each person on a piece of paper. Just one word. Compile all the words for each person and create posters filled with the positive attributes, then at your next staff or team meeting get everyone in a circle and hand out the posters but not to the person to whom the words are for. Bring each person one at a time into the circle and have someone else read these powerful attributes directly to that person. This short yet powerful exercise will bond and bring about a pure sense of encouragement to everyone in the room and the participants will then begin to see greatness in each other. Once the exercise is completed have everyone take a seat to discuss how they felt and how they can keep this momentum moving forward. Finally, take the posters and hang them where everyone can see them on a daily basis. So go ahead, start an infectious notion of encouragement in your home or office.

As Clint Eastwood says “go ahead, make my day!”

What I have learned as an adult is that the feeling of security comes from within. It comes from knowing that I am enough, that I am deserving and that the gifts that I have to bring to the world are perfect just as they are. What does security mean to you? Is it how you appear to others or is it deeper than that? Can you feel secure for a long period of time or does it come and go? The feeling of security for me that comes from within is there all the time however at times I still am willing to give up my power to others instead of being true to myself? How many times do you take a back seat instead of standing up for what you believe in or are willing to state your case loud and true that would strenghten your sense of security rather than jeopardize it?

I found it interesting when I read a recent New York Times article stating that women are the new bread winners of the family yet they have not set themselves or their families up for retirement and that they rarely seek guidance or counsel in matters of finance. I thought it was men that wouldn’t ask for directions but here we are as women doing the same thing just in a different area.

So we as women are willing and able to take control of the reins in the arena of providing for our families but are not willing to feel as though we are worthy enough to set ourselves up for financial success and to aid our feeling of security. Interesting….what are we waiting for? Are we waiting for our fathers to make the decisions for us? Are we still little girls feeling as though someone else that is smarter, better at numbers, or understands the process more should take over that part of our lives?

Sharon Lechter, author of “Outwitting the Devil” states that “you don’t have to know everything, just know who to ask and be willing to take actions. At day’s end, we each see our worst enemy or our best friend when we look in the mirror. Which one will you be: victim or victor?”

In the end, security is not just about how much money we have in the bank it is about how we feel about ourselves and what we have to offer to the world. When it is all said and done, “service is the rent that we pay for our space here on earth,” and security is the rewards that we reap from that service. Is your rent paid up?

Then there are the random act of kindness that always put a smile on my face whether I am the perpetrator of the act or the one observing someone else doing this random act. Whenever I see this happening I wonder how often this kind of thing goes in our world. Is it often, not so often, or rare? One thing I know for sure is that even when researching this subject I became happy just thinking about what I could do to spread more joy.

In an interview with Oprah she describes giving as “actively thinking about how to spread more joy.” Oprah goes on to state that she has been blessed with the ability to give great gifts however believes the best gift of all is the gift of sharing herself.

One of my favorite quotes on the subject of serving others is this, “you can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” That sounds like a reasonable request, don’t you think? So if you dissect what this is saying, “help other people get what they want” it might look like this: catch an employee doing something right today, thank your clients for their business, create a customer service motto for your business and implement it, provide a service above and beyond what the customer is expecting, mentor a child or a co-worker. What is it that you want and who can you serve to get it? Sometimes we have to think outside the box, take a risk, or take a side step in order to see what we did not even realize was missing in our business model, our relationships, or our world in order to fully serve others.

If you want your customers to be loyal then reach out to them, build a relationship, show them you care, say thank you, do something out of the ordinary. You can have lots of fun with this, run company contests, see just how creative your team can be, survey your customers to see how you stand up, do something impromptu during a given day for a customer. You may find that you enjoy coming to work more as an outcome of this!

If you believe that your business is already serving others and that there is no need to implement anything new then take a look at your bottom line and your repeat business numbers. Are you giving fully, are your associates or team members happy, are you giving back to them with words of encouragement or setting them up for success in their future endeavors? Mandela talks about serving others as being very profitable and that it only costs him his time.

Serving others at home is another way to make life more enjoyable but it is not about waiting on your kids, husband or significant other, it is about doing something for them randomly with rewards that can sometimes be outstanding! What random act of kindness could you do at home that would change the dynamics? How could doing something different change the outcome of your child doing their homework, or cleaning their room, or your spouse cleaning the house unexpectedly? How do you have to be or act in order for others around you to do what you want them to do for their reasons? Ponder that for a minute. Get others to do what you want them to do for their reasons. Serving others, there really is something to this…

There are many reasons why we are drawn to some people and not others however it seems that there is some underlying thing that William W. Woodbridge refers to as “That Something.” If we look back on history, movies, sports or government we can find papers, books, and articles laden with people that we admire for one reason or another. So what is “That Something?”

People used to say that my dad had it. As a child growing up in a small town in Maine I didn’t really understand what that meant however what I did know was how proud I was to call Dr. Robert P. Lynch, Sr. my dad and that those around him whether patients, politicians, friends or professional acquaintances all called him their friend. So why were people so drawn to him, like others are drawn to Princess Diana, John Wayne, Ronald Reagan; I could on for days about other charismatic leaders both before our time and during our time here on Earth.

My dad, for instance, had conviction, passion, confidence, posture, composure as well as courage. These things combined in random sequence helped to make the people he interacted with, from all walks of life, drawn to him. He exuded feelings of security, power, humor, and genuine interest in others.

So this thing called CHARISMA can be learned but only if we remain present in the moment and listen to the person in front of us. Give them our time, much of which is all we can give. In the small booklet titled “That Something” by William W. Woodbridge he refers to the sparkle in your eyes, the presence as you walk through a room, the confidence that you exude as a thing that “once you find it, your life will never be the same!”

It is also stated in Richard Stengel’s book”Mandela’s Way” that “Mandela was so strong and charismatic; he never got credit for just how clever he was. People often remarked on his presence…” So how can you or I be more present in our every move today, in every interaction? How can we change the world around us? How much more could you affect someone’s life if you were CHARISMATIC?

In taking risk I have found it helpful to take a look at what area of my life needs to attention but where do I begin? Recently I purchased a magnet that simply states “begin anywhere,” although that may work sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other, it is when I am stuck in a state of confusion or fear that stops me dead in my tracks until I found this visual tool that helps me to begin somewhere.

Everyone six months or so I like to do an exercise that can help me to track my progress and keep me away from my flat tire and give me a visual of where I am, it is based on the four quadrants of life based on Stephen Covey’s work on personal leadership. The four quadrants of life are:
Wealth/abundance
Spiritual
Physical
Emotional/relationship

There is time in each of our lives when we feel a little off kilter, when something just isn’t right. That is a great indicator that it may be time to take a risk, to get off the couch, to do something different. I have found by viewing my life in sections it can help to isolate the area being able to take smaller bites and not going into over whelm.

To help take a better look at what areas in your life could use some work take out a blank piece of paper and draw a circle. Through the outer edges of the circle draw a big X. From the center of this X on each line write the numbers 1 through 10. 1 being in the center and 10 on the outer edge of the circle. In each area between the lines write in one of the quadrant categories listed above. Take a look at each category and rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 of how accomplished you feel. Once each line is marked then connect the dots which will give you a good visual of what area(s) need attention.

It’s rare that we ever really end up with a perfect circle which would represent balance in all areas of our lives but the key is to not be so far off in one area that the connecting line looks like a flat tire instead of a circle which I can tell you from personal experience is a wake up call that something needs to change. This visual for me is a reminder of where to focus my energies, from that perspective I can begin to chart a course of action to begin to make the changes necessary to live a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Within each of these areas there is some element of risk, some of course bigger than others but risk just the same. I love Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote “do something that scares you every day,” it helps me to realize that sometimes being uncomfortable or scared is a good thing. It is an indicator that I need to do something different and that I am the only one that can make the move. So what is it for you that you need to confront? What have you put on the back burner or swept under the carpet that needs to be addressed before you either burn yourself or trip over it? What is in your way of achieving your dreams, goals and desires?

As Nike says:
JUST DO IT

What would that “anything” be in your life? Imagine a wind so strong that you are stripped of your past, and all that was left standing was you today, right now, in this present moment.

Imagine the next move you make, the next thought you think will determine your fate. What would those movements or thoughts be or would you stand frozen, stuck as though your feet were planted in cement, wrought with fear or confusion?

As the New Year is upon us take a few minutes to contemplate this image, New Year, new beginning, clean slate. Have you set yourself up for success in 2012, or will you just go through the motions.

Many of us really stink at self-discipline hence the reason we never seem to quite make our goals or achieve our dreams. Sure if we want a new car, we get one; if we want a new smart phone, we get one; but where we miss the mark is realizing that the same goal setting and clear intention that got us the new car or smart phone are the same goal setting techniques that can get us anything else we desire with emotion. Determining your goals whether they be personal, financial or business related will set you on a course for success. Charting your course, being self-disciplined to create a plan, visualizing your goals daily, moving forward step by step celebrating the small wins along the way will help you to stay on course.

Here are some tips to help you stay on track:
- Celebrate small wins
- Enlist those around you to help you stay on track
- Create deadlines on a calendar that you see daily
- Place small messages and pictures of your goals on a vision board and place it where you will be able to view it several times a day
- Spend 10 minutes daily (that’s the hard part) quietly visualizing that you have already achieved your goal so much so that you are able to feel the exhilaration of achievement
- Write down 3 things you are grateful for each morning before your feet hit the floor.

Once you get into the habit of abundance and prosperity all that you seek with clear intention will be placed in front of you, it is up to you to reach out and grab it with gusto!